Family Encyclopedia >> Family

How best to handle heartbreak

Anyone who has ever experienced heartbreak knows how much it hurts. It's part of life, but luckily there are ways to better cope with heartbreak. In this article we give some advice that makes it easier to deal with heartbreak.

Table of contents

What is heartbreak and how can you best deal with it?

I can still evoke the feeling of heartbreak, even if it was a long time ago. It is a pain that cannot be explained to someone who has not known a heartbreak. Processing heartbreak used to seem like an eternity and I just felt torn.

What is heartbreak and where does it come from?

Heartbreak arises after the loss of a loved one. This is the case if the relationship is broken, but this can also be the case if the loved one has died. Or if your love for a particular person remains unrequited.

There is often talk of a broken heart in heartbreak. And that's not for nothing. This is how heartbreak can really feel. It is not only emotional pain but also physical pain. The physical pain can be felt in the chest area and causes nausea.

Heartbreak is believed to stem from our survival instinct. Our social attachment system uses pain as an incentive to maintain relationships. It is a complex neurological process about which little is known. This social attachment system can cause a lot of pain. In fact, studies show that people prefer real physical pain to the pain they feel when they are socially excluded.

Processing heartbreak properly is therefore important.

Symptoms of heartbreak

Heartbreak is a condition and can last from a few days to several years. It has the symptoms of a disease. Symptoms of heartbreak have similarities with those of depression. Symptoms of heartbreak are:

  • Chest pain. This is due to tension on the pectoral muscles.
  • Headache
  • Lambness
  • Nausea
  • Sense of powerlessness
  • Insomnia
  • Losing appetite
  • Don't feel like it
  • Lifeless
  • Fatigue
  • No appetite
  • A worthless feeling

Processing heartbreak is best with the tips below.

Dealing with heartbreak:you can do this

The first step

First of all, it is important not to run away from your emotions after a breakup. Instead of throwing yourself straight at work or drinking your sadness away, it is better to give your emotions space. Let your tears and sorrow run wild. The first few days this can be quite intense, but it is important that the emotions can get out. Doing this will speed up the process of getting over your ex.

It's good to take a few days off from work to process your heartbreak. This while you might intuitively think that it is good to go to work because it causes distraction. Taking time off gives you the time and freedom to get yourself back on track emotionally. It is best to deal with your emotions when they are most intense.

It is normal for you to go through all kinds of intense emotional ups and downs in the first months after a breakup or emotional infidelity. A real emotional rollercoaster. But time heals all wounds. As the breakup is further behind you, the sadness will fade into the background.

Distance yourself from your ex

To get over your ex, it is important to start by distancing yourself from your ex. If you still see your ex every day, it will be difficult to let go of your ex. It is also important that you no longer see your ex via social media.

You can unfriend or hide your ex or social media platforms such as Facebook to better process your heartbreak. Don't send each other whatsapps and don't call each other anymore. If you have photos of your ex at home, store them. Every memory of your ex can trigger another emotional mood.

Perhaps you have hopes of winning back your ex. This is possible with the right approach, but even then it is important to initially distance yourself from your ex. It is important that you first get everything back on track (emotionally). If you want to win back your ex, your chances of success are greatest if you approach this in the right way.

There are couples therapists who specialize in winning back the ex partner. The well-known relationship therapist Edwin Edinga is such a relationship therapist. You can find more information on his website ex Back.

Talk to others

Talk about your feelings with others. Talk to anyone you can talk to in confidence; friends, girlfriends, brothers, sisters and good colleagues. Most people have their own experiences of heartbreak and will understand your feelings. You can talk to anyone except your ex.

If your ex starts talking, there is a good chance that it will end in a fight because you start blaming each other. That will only make the grief worse.

Don't be afraid to say how you are when people ask. Don't fool others by saying that everything is fine. If you are open about your grief, you will see that others can support you.

Do nice things

Once you have processed the worst emotions, it is time to pick up life again and start doing fun things. Meet up with friends to have something to eat or drink or just go to the zoo or something. It's about doing things you enjoy so that you don't get stuck in your sadness.

It is good to experience that life can also be fun without your ex partner. This makes it easier for you to get on with your own life. It's also a good way to find out if you really miss your ex or if you're missing out on the outings and activities you both loved.