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8 things we all do while waiting for him to call back

1- Take your laptop everywhere…even to the toilet

It's that we wait so long for the call or the text that gives the starting signal to any relationship that we don't want to miss the boat! We know that anything can happen in the space of a pee (that's why we keep the door open when we watch Game of Thrones). So yes, we have already found ourselves with our phone wisely placed on the ground or on the roll of paper, clearly visible. If we are honest we can even go so far as to admit that we have already contemplated our cell phone for several minutes as if something was going to come out of it, whispering "call, call... call damn it".

2- Calling your best friend hoping she finds an answer for us

In these cases of extreme urgency, where we find ourselves destitute, helpless and under the yoke of the vibration of the telephone, we do not have 36 solutions:either we take care of ourselves and we spend 10 (30) minutes transferring his anguish over Martine, either we are waiting for the verdict, still not announced but well suggested:“he does not want to see you again. IT’S A RAKE”. Well, since all is not lost, you never know (see the point below), we choose the phone call to a friend. To empty his bag on the one hand (“What are these guys who have fingers to hold a pint of beer but who become penguins when it is necessary to write a text message?”), but especially to hear the analysis of a relaxed and neutral brain rather than our own, a little over-revving. And fortunately she is there Martine. Because sometimes we just need to hear a "Gently Bernadette on the peak of tension, it's been 4 hours since you left the bar" (not stupid) or a "It's been 3 weeks, you're still waiting a long time and you give us a grand slam?” (Yeah you're right).

3- Justify radio silence

"Maybe he lent his cousin his cell phone." Hmm…No. In real life, you don't lend your laptop to your cousin or anyone else. So even if a last-minute tile happens, it would still be bad luck if he got phonejacked in the street right when he's supposed to call us back to fix the next drink. But it is true that the temptation to justify the no man's land of appeal burns the tongue. 1/ because we're tired of hearing the well-meaning girlfriend telling us "another sucker who doesn't call back, you're really unlucky" (thank you Freud, but they usually call back anyway) and 2/ because we need to know that's how it is.

4- Drink

It's bad. Finally it is especially bad when we want to kill our liver to forget that we have put the grapple on a neuneu who did not understand that his life would be all the better for it if he called us back. It's also bad because at the time we end up with the confidence in the socks and in the evening we sputter on Martine, assuring her the cheeks reddened by the white wine that we will end up alone with a cat. Result the next day, still no news, we smell bad from the mouth and we have a headache (but we will take our cell phone with us to go vomit in the toilet).

5- Analyze his behavior the last time you saw him

To grasp the why and how we go back to the source. “At one point he looked at his watch twice in an hour, what if I had bored him to death? He also talked a lot about his mother, wouldn't he prefer to settle his Oedipus complex before calling me back? We play thesis, anti-thesis, synthesis to put our finger on what has eluded us until now. We brainstorm to read between the lines (well, if we had lines to read already) and interpret his head movements, his language tics to finally say to ourselves:“ah but yes I’m stupid! He doesn't call me back because I didn't give him my number."

6- Check his Facebook profile to see if he posted things from his phone

Sorry girls, I'm tossing all our veins...Except that the "inspector" vein we assume it's average because we don't want to pass for sociopaths either. But let’s still recognize that it’s well seen! Well yes, if he posted something on his profile and on his phone, that means he had it in his hands so he saw he had a text message (ours). As far as we know, there is no spam in text messages yet. CQFD. Wasp not crazy. We can also check his profile to make sure that if he didn't call us on Saturday evening, it was because he was zouking at his friend Jean's party.

7- Put your laptop in airplane mode or turn it off then turn it back on

Airplane mode is more of a good intention at the start, we are on the right track. We want to free ourselves from the claws of the wave box and put it in off mode to force us not to press a key once we have not heard the beep beep. In the meantime we sit in front of a movie or the JT (to see that in the world, there is worse). More surprisingly, sometimes we turn it off and turn it back on (???). Well yes, a bug, a message that wants to pass but does not succeed, it's possible huh!

8- Send him a text message that is not intended for him or an empty text message

To remind him that we exist and to force him to start a conversation. It's the pretense. Be careful though, should not take them for muzzles, this one they know how to detect it quite well. Especially the text message error of recipient in which we slip a sentence which makes him understand that we are coveted by the whole department. But the results are often not very convincing. Several outlets:1/ he has a bit of common sense, he sees clearly in our game and we pass for a noodle, 2/ at the error message we are entitled to a "No worries" and it's a dead end or 3/ we still don't have an answer... But more and more certainty that he sucks.

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