How to express thanks during a death? What cards? What formulas?

On the occasion of a death, the loved ones of the deceased receive many letters of support and condolences, some people send flowers, wreaths, presents... Thanking them for their touching attention and their thoughts is sometimes a difficult act. , since it recalls the deceased, but also sometimes necessary to express one's emotions and show one's gratitude in the face of the precious support in these moments of mourning. How to express your thanks? Which cards to choose? What formulas to use? Here are some tips.

Sharing thanks after a death:how and when to do it?

After the funeral of a loved one, his relatives are unfortunately forced to bear the final separation. The grieving process can be very long and painful. If the family of the deceased feels the need to come together or isolate themselves to give vent to their grief, each tries to overcome the unacceptable.

Before and after the funeral, messages of condolence and support are often welcome. The discreet presence of some and the loving words of others are sometimes a way to ease the pain of the loss of a loved one a little and they bring real comfort. Relatives of the deceased very often wish to thank those who supported them, those who were present during the ceremony or those who sent them messages, thoughts, flowers and other attentions.

These thanks can be difficult to formulate and painful to write, but they also sometimes help to accept a terrible separation by reviving memories and emotional moments shared with the deceased during their lifetime.

When to send thanks?

After the loss of a loved one, no one will blame you for not expressing thanks in the days following their funeral. Indeed, everyone knows that you still have steps to take and much more difficult tasks to undertake, not to mention your pain and sorrow.

Usually, it is advisable to send your thank you cards in the month following the ceremony, to remind the bond still fresh in the minds. But while extending the deadline for sending may reduce the impact of your thanks, you are free to act when you want and when you feel ready. Whatever the moment of your approach, the recipients of your cards will be touched by your gesture. Moreover, it is not uncommon for the news of a death to still spread long weeks after the ceremony and for this to generate regular messages. To avoid reliving this often painful moment, wait a bit to thank these thoughts of support in one go and avoid having to multiply the mailings.

To make it easier for you, you can first list the people you want to thank, those who have shown their support or who were present at the ceremony.

Which cards to choose to thank after a death?

There is a huge selection of thank you cards. In paper or online, you can find several models appropriate to the circumstances:

• Classic cards :these cards are the most sober and the most traditional. They are usually black or white with a black border.
• Floral cards :these occasion cards are both elegant and a way to thank a similar attention, such as sending a bouquet of flowers, a crown, etc. They are classic models, but more pleasant to send for most families since they have a less austere image.
• Landscape maps :some standard cards offer a decorative landscape, perhaps a way of evoking the journey of the deceased. Nevertheless, some are an opportunity to present a landscape dear to the deceased, a place where he liked to spend time, the place where he grew up, etc.
• Portrait Cards :these cards present the portrait of the deceased and are a way of associating it with thanks. However, they are sometimes difficult to watch at first for loved ones.
• Passion cards :in the same vein as the landscape cards, some cards are illustrated with one or more passions that the deceased shared or practiced during his lifetime.
• Religious cards :these cards are usually chosen by families who shared a deep faith with the deceased. They may contain religious illustrations or simply one or more quotations.

Which formulas to use?

Finding the words to thank after a death is not always easy. Nevertheless, it is enough to write a few simple sentences or to quote a writer or an extract from a religious book to show your feelings and your gratitude. There are many patterns, but it's usually best to respect the traditions, wishes, and personality of the missing person.

Whichever you choose, there are two categories of thank you formulas.

• Classic formulas :these are simple formulas, but adapted. The cards are all presented in the same pattern and contain simple family words or an appropriate quote. The formulation is brief and generalist to suit the entire destination repertoire (family, friends, but also colleagues, neighbours, etc.).
• Custom formulas :some relatives of the deceased want to write personalized thank you cards, with a unique message addressed to each one.

Examples of formulas?

Here are some examples of formulas that can be used to write a thank you card after a death.

• “Madam and Mr. X thank you for the testimony of friendship and support shown during the death of Mrs./Mr. Y. They ask you to receive the expression of their sincere gratitude. »
• “Our family has been touched by your messages of support. We thank you. »
• “We were particularly touched by your presence at X’s funeral. Your support was a great comfort to us in our pain. »
• “Our family has been very touched by the sympathy and support you have shown following the passing of X and sincerely thanks you. »
• “I am very grateful for the support you gave me during the death of my husband/wife. I thank you warmly. »
• “Your presence at the funeral and your message touched us deeply. We send you our sincere thanks. »
• “‘The mind forgets all suffering when grief has companions and friendship consoles it’ , William Shakespeare. »