Losing a loved one is always an ordeal for loved ones, but also for those who knew the deceased from near or far. The message of condolence sent to the family at the time of death is a strong testimony of support and sympathy. But it is not always easy to find the right words to avoid making a mistake in these painful moments. Our tips for writing a condolence letter.
A condolence letter is a personal message that expresses sadness at the time of a death, but also shows support for the family in these painful times.
Regardless of the degree of ties with the deceased person and their loved ones, a message of condolence must be the expression of sincere feelings. Simple and spontaneous words most often effectively convey what one feels when a loved one dies. Your message is also intended to tell bereaved loved ones that you are there to support them, that they can count on you.
The words used in a condolence letter must be adapted according to the ties maintained with the recipient(s). Indeed, you will not speak in the same way to a member of your family, to a professional relation or to a neighbor for example.
In summary, there is no need to write too long a condolence letter. The latter must contain the essentials of your thoughts to share your grief, your support and compassion with the loved ones of the deceased.
In general, the formula "I offer you all my condolences and my support in this painful moment (to be adapted according to the bond maintained with the loved ones of the deceased, and which can be more personalized) allows you to express your grief and compassion without making any mistakes.
Your message of condolence should also be comforting and respectful of the pain of loved ones. Be careful not to minimize it in your remarks. “My heart goes out to you or “I associate myself with your sorrow and your pain allow in a few words to translate your sadness, your support and to show your real and sincere attention.
Do not try to put yourself in the place of loved ones with formulas such as "I know and I understand how you feel", or "time heals all wounds" because each bereaved person experiences this ordeal differently and no one can put themselves in his place in such circumstances.
In the same spirit, words that are difficult for the relatives of the deceased to read, such as "death" or "death" should be avoided in a letter of condolence. It is preferable to speak rather of “disappearance” or “loss” for example. Out of respect, the causes of death are also not to be mentioned in a condolence letter.
In any case, remember to pay tribute to the deceased person in your condolence letter using formulas such as “I will keep the memory of a generous person, always happy…” or “his smile will always be etched in my memory ”, etc., or by evoking a happy memory with her.
In principle, a message of condolence is the subject of a small card or a handwritten letter for the attention of the relatives of the deceased, even if, with new technologies, e-mail and sms, or even social networks, are increasingly used today.
Generally, a letter of condolence is sent by post before the day of the funeral. It can also be hand-delivered to the family on the day of the funeral, accompanied by flowers.
The condolence letter is generally handwritten and not written on a computer for example. Your personal handwriting (to be taken care of to be readable by loved ones) is the best messenger of your feelings and feelings. Do not forget to date your message, but above all to sign your letter of condolence and mention your postal and telephone details in order to allow the relatives of the deceased to thank you later.
If you do not know the loved ones of the deceased person, do not forget to indicate in your letter of condolence the link you had with him (work colleague, partner of a sporting activity, friend, neighbor, etc.) .